Politcal Lives

I have yet to meet one single person, not one, that doesn’t think that the health insurance system in this country needs to be changed. I read a minimum of four newspapers every single day from all over the country and not a week goes by that I don’t read multiple articles or editorials that address the issue. It doesn’t matter if you call yourself a Democrat, Republican or an Independent, it’s in the news, it’s on our minds and according to Gallup it’s the # 2 issue in America running slightly behind the economy. http://www.gallup.com/poll/122885/Economy-Healthcare-Top-Important-Problem-List.aspx

A new study by SurveyUSA puts support for some type of government involvement [not necessarily the public option also including system reforms] at a whopping 77%.

http://www.surveyusa.com/client/PollReport.aspx?g=5ba17aa2-f1b9-4445-a6b8-62b9d1ba8693

Well, it’s a complicated issue for sure and I am not going to tell you that I have an answer or that I even know all of the problems but I feel confident in saying that the vast majority of Americans feel the need to change the current system in some way. My own main support for believing that something needs to be done is found in the following uncomplicated statistical facts. Average wages have fallen 1.4% this year through September, and overall since 1999 wages have only gone up 2% according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics . In the exact same time frame health insurance premiums rose 131%, according to the non-partisan Congressional Budget Office. That’s pretty clear cut in my mind; we’re in the hole 129% over the past decade in our ability to provide health care for our families. I don’t care what business you’re in or what activity you equate it to if over ten years you were down 129% you’d be stupid not to change the way you operate. I don’t believe Americans are stupid. I don’t even believe our politicians are stupid but they are ridiculously selfish, they lack the courage of their convictions and are not accurately supporting the will of the American people that they are sworn to represent.

I make no secret as to my political leanings, I am a liberal. I don’t say I am a Democrat anymore because to me the Democratic Party is too centrist but I support the Democrats overall because they are more closely aligned with my core personal values. However, in this case there are enough Democrats screwing this up for me to lump all politicians together. There were 39 Democrats that voted against a watered down House health reform bill-39! Why?- because they are more concerned about being re-elected than they are about accomplishing a task that 77% of Americans are in favor of. You want proof? 31 of the 39 Representatives voting against the House bill were from districts won by John McCain in 2008 including all 13 that hold seats that switched from Republican to Democrat in the last election and are in for tough re-election fights. Republicans are in lock step about opposing any Democratic sponsored health care reform and these Democrats are afraid that if they stand up for what they believe in, that which is a main plank of the Democratic platform, the Republicans will beat them in November. Well good, if the people in their district think that the Republican platform of non-government involvement and opposition is more in line with what they want then they should be voted out because they don’t represent their constituents. They were elected as Democrats; health care reform was a huge part of their and President Obama’s campaigns and they happily road his coat tails into office. Yet now because of the threat of losing their seats they are caving in. That’s not leadership that’s cowardice and selfishness. In the Senate there are three Democrats on record as opposing the proposed reforms. They are from Louisiana, Nebraska and Arkansas. In Arkansas the support for health care reform runs 6% higher than the national average and yet she opposes the bill because she is trailing to all four Republicans slated to run against her in 2010. The fact that these three people could effectively kill health care reform in this country infuriates me. Combined, the population of these three STATES [9,040,727] is less than the COUNTY of Los Angeles [9,862,049] but that is the nature of the democratic republic in which we live and I can’t really bitch about that. [Although I just did]

As for the Republicans, they are the most culpable to me, all of them. They all agree that the system needs reform just like the rest of us yet they have opposed health care reform at every turn. Their alternative was a four page outline that basically said ‘we oppose government run health care’. It didn’t say how many people theirs would cover, how much it would cost or how it would cover them. So you don’t like this plan? Fine, come up with an alternative instead of spending every waking hour bashing the one that’s actually out there. They can’t do that though because if this plan passes, it would be a significant victory for President Obama and that is the thing that Republicans really oppose more than anything. It is widely accepted that if President Obama manages to accomplish the main social reform promised throughout his campaign that he will be even harder to unseat in 2012. In 2002, the Institute of Medicine released a report which estimated that 18,000 American adults nationwide died in 2000 because they did not have health insurance. The Urban Institute estimated that 22,000 adults died in 2006 because they did not have health insurance. According to iCasualties.org 5,285 Americans have died in Iraq and Afghanistan since 2001. Yet, despite those facts Republicans continue to shout that the President is moving too fast on health care reform and too slow on troop deployment in Afghanistan. The overriding majority of Americans want health care reform, we’ve demonstrated that and it is unacceptable to the Republicans that a Democrat will accomplish it. They call it Obamacare which is ridiculous because the White House has been unbelievably hands off on the whole deal. In fact, President Obama has been far too hands-off for me and most of us in support of sweeping changes. They use phrases like socialized medicine and scare tactics about deteriorating service and losing your own doctor. You know the last time those phrases were used? 1969, about Medicare, and now one of the main arguments Republicans use against the plan are the proposed cuts and reforms to the sacred untouchable Medicare system. It’s a joke, except nobody is laughing.

I don’t know if the plan being offered in the Senate will work. But I do know it is the best available option out there and that not doing anything is not a viable option to most Americans. I’m hopeful, there’s a lot in it that all sides agree on if other people would actually read it. I’ve included a link to a very readable synopsis below. I’d give you a link to the Republican plan but there isn’t one. Regardless of where you fall on the issue, get involved, check out how the people representing you are voting and why and let them know how you feel. Our elected officials are playing politics with our lives, more concerned about keeping themselves in power than enacting the will of the people and that is unacceptable but unless we do something about it we are as culpable as they are.

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2009/11/19/us/politics/1119-plan-comparison.html?hp

Brad Pitt, the Drag Queen and Me

I've always been a bit of a gym rat. I like to work-out and have at different times in my life been a little obsessed with my body image. Although there have been periods in my life where work commitments or finances have kept me from maintaining a gym membership at those times I could at least usually be found curling two paint cans tied together in my basement or undertaking 10 mile bike rides. I recently came off one of those down times and found myself at my heaviest weight and the most out of shape in my life. My battles with feelings of depression, quitting smoking, some financial troubles and poor eating habits had ballooned me to 235 lbs. and a 36 inch waistline. At a smidge under 6' tall I was rounder than I had ever been and not at all happy about it. As the summer of 2009 began I knew in September we would be producing The Rocky Horror Show and that no matter how good my performance was as Dr. Frank-n-Furter nobody was going to want to see an oompa loompa in a corset.

However, despite that fact I couldn't seem to get myself to work-out or diet. I was in a successful production of A Picasso, had a long commute and was producing two other shows so I just kept putting it off and putting it on. When A Picasso closed and my other shows were over the first of August rolled in and I rolled right in with it. Mortified at what I looked like and with the thought of a September 11th opening in my underwear in front of thousands of people I finally broke down and bought a gym membership on August 3rd, that day the scale read a whopping 238.

I began a blistering regimen of a two hour work-out every day, six days a week and I stopped eating (mostly) after dinner. No two bowls of cereal (my guilty childhood pleasure) or ice cream for dessert. The intensity of my work-outs became a thing of notoriety at my gym, even the personal trainers were impressed and they told me so. The positive reinforcement was great and I enjoyed it, except they kept calling me Brad which I couldn't figure out. It seemed odd they didn't know my name since I was there so much but I didn't think much about it and just smiled and went about my business. As anyone who belongs to a gym will attest there's a social atmosphere and camaraderie that develops among the 'regulars' , you chat, find out some personal information and in general become friendly with those folks you see every day. We laughed, enjoyed some typical locker room humor and talked in the sauna, steam room or sitting in the whirlpool. I started to look forward to seeing my 'friends', even if they didn't seem to know my real name.

One day one of the trainers was working with someone and asked me to come over and help spot his student on the bench press. " Hey Brad can you give us a hand over here?" After the sets were done and the trainer discharged his pupil to the steam room I finally broke down and told him that my name wasn't Brad. He said "Oh I know, that's just the nickname we've given you, I thought you knew that I'm sorry. Does it bother you?" I told him that it didn't bother me but I didn't understand it, how is "Brad" a nickname. He said- "You know? Like Brad Pitt." Now I don't have any delusions as to making a comparison of any kind between myself and Brad Pitt except we both have hot wives so I told him I still didn't get it. Then he asked me if I had ever seen the movie "Burn After Reading". oh no! When I do my cardio on the elliptical or treadmill, I have my music on and once I get my heart rate over 150 my eyes are closed, I zone out, in fact I've been pulled off my machine on more than one occasion because some of them beep after you go past the cool down timer. You see, I don't want to know how much time I have left or the distance I've traveled I just kinda flip a switch and go until I can't go anymore. Apparently, I also 'jam' a bit and much to my dismay apparently even sing once in awhile. Well after a good laugh I jokingly said that maybe being a performer had something to do with it. He asked what kind of performing I did and I told him what I had done recently and that in fact the reason I was working so hard was I was going to play the lead in Rocky Horror and was about to be on display in a corset and high heels. To quote Hedwig-'His face was so still it could have been a Yes album cover'. He excused himself and I went back to finish my work out thinking no more of it and determined to watch my exuberance on the cardio equipment.

The next day one of the usually friendly and flirtatious girls at the desk silently checked me in and as I went to grab my towels I caught her and one of the other employees looking at me and whispering. In the locker room I smelled my armpits, checked my breath and examined my teeth for parsley...nothing untoward was happening in any location so I chalked it up to girls being girls and started to change. My mates, usually not shy about locker room banter including giving me shit about my crooked back were curiously quiet. Nobody was rude and when I asked one guy how his ailing brother was we chatted and he asked me about a recent audition I had but I could tell something was amiss. After my work-outs I treat myself to a nice long steam trying to take advantage of my heightened metabolic rate and the heat to sweat off a few more ounces, it was in that fog that everything became clear. The minute I walked my naked butt into the steam room the three guys in there unceremoniously left and even in the mentholated smell of the steam room the trail of homophobia they left behind reeked to high heaven. These guys practically ran out of the place and at first I laughed but then I got pissed.

I have absolutely no tolerance for intolerance, it's what has driven me away from religion and even alienated me from members of my own family. No god worth a shit is going to tell me a member of their flock is an abomination because of who they sleep with. Tell me you think a gay couple shouldn't get married or use the word nigger, hebe or wop in a conversation and our relationship is over period, even if you're only 'kidding'-I find the subject void of humor.

So these guys all thought I was a drag queen or something and were suddenly afraid to be naked in front of me, how pathetic. I decided to ignore it giving others the benefit of the doubt and just figured that these morons were in the minority, I mean c'mon it's 2009 right? However, as the next several days went on it got worse, more cold shoulders, less conversation and a lot of alone time in the sauna. Admittedly, I escalated it as my anger grew each day, I'm a good Frank-n-Furter and had no problem swishing about or standing bare assed in the middle of the locker with my hands on my hips watching ESPN commenting on how cute A-Rod was or the size of his bat. As the show got closer I had to shave my upper body, chest, pits, everything and when I showed up that day at the gym you would have thought I had leprosy-it would have been laughable if it wasn't so disgusting.

Happily the week of the show came around and I didn't get into the gym for awhile. In fact I had decided I wasn't going back there at all. I had reached all my goals, I was down to 205, my waist was 33 inches and as one of my son's friends commented on seeing the show "Damn your Dad is ripped!". When we had finally put the show to bed I changed my mind and decided I'd go back to the gym and finish out the month's membership before cancelling and starting over somewhere else. Upon my arrival everything had changed, I was greeted with an almost reverence, the girls at the desk flirted unabashedly with me and the men that had shunned me when they thought I was gay were asking me how the show went. I was taken aback to say the least and not a little confused. I found out later in the day that one of the trainers had come to see the show with his girlfriend and she was a yoga student of my wife-I had been inadvertently de-outed. This did nothing to alleviate my anger and in fact it probably made it more vehement and I internally railed at the bigotry of my so called gym buddies. Then I took a deep breath and decided that I too had to be tolerant. I couldn't hate those people just because they were a bunch of hateful, ignorant, small minded prejudiced assholes. Stupid people need love too.

More truthfully though I liked this facility and I was not going to let those idiots force me to change my gym just because of their asinine beliefs and fear. I'm not all that forgiving though, the cold shoulder is now on the other foot so to speak and I have new 'gym buddies' and they actually know my name.

this moment

It's November 1st, 2009 and in my wildest imaginings I never thought I would be here, in the situation I am in, in the world that I occupy, in this life that appears to be mine. I started this blog months ago at the urging of many friends and family that have enjoyed things I have written or thought that comments I have made were interesting. I came up with a cool title, a nice 'blurb' as a header and then I didn't write a single word. Mostly because I've been...dep...uhm... I've been experiencing some d..urm...ahmm...things have been ...pffffffft...fu*# it-I've been depressed. Hard to write that for me, harder to say it-my therapist calls it the "D" word because of my aversion to it. Hard to write a blog called "Producing Joy" when you've got the "D" word. I didn't feel I could practice what I preached-still don't all the time... most of the time.

I'll sum up because although the details may be different, our situation I'm afraid is not uncommon. I haven't been able to find a steady job since the end of 2007. I didn't get closed out in the recession or get outsourced but my job ended unexpectedly and it happened during a time when unemployment in Michigan more than doubled from 6.9% the end of 2007 to the over 15% it is now.-Bad timing, bad luck, bad karma no matter what you call it-it's bad.

As an artist, work is forever sketchy I'm used to that but I've always found a 'semi-civilian' gig; I did educational programming for an arts center, I've been an administrator in arts organizations, did the spin and grin on the auto show circuit or a ride and drive. And like most in this business tons of part-time stuff--tended bar, midnight hotel desk clerk, gas station attendant. I had a paper route in my thirties, have done literally hundreds of load-ins and have even sold cutlery that can cut a penny. People who know me will attest I do not avoid work, but at a time when we are shedding jobs by the thousands each week I am 0-100+ in the interview/application process. Well, I almost had one $10 an hour job but ended up not getting it because the employer knew I would always be looking to leave for a better paying gig and decided not to hire me at all. As a final kicker going into the holidays our only remaining client/co-producer cancelled all our upcoming ventures until June of 2010.

We can't afford health insurance now and have joined that American statistic so bandied about in our political arenas lately. Now it's the first of the month which means the mortgage is due and yes we'll make that payment but I can't guarantee next month or what we'll have to leave unpaid to make it. If I have to turn off the heat at least we'll be covered because the stack of unpaid medical bills can burn in my fire place for a long time.

Unemployed, Uninsured and Overextended:Life During The Obama First Term-I don't blame the President but it's not an unfair description-Actually, it hurts me to even say that because I was the oldest person I saw humping the the streets of Pontiac and Waterford campaigning for the guy-I took my kids to see him in Detroit. My political leanings are well documented and I put my feet, my pen and my time where my mouth is but these "times" are going to define President Obama's presidency whether anyone likes it or not. Personally, I am of the belief that the previous 8 years [and the prior-devil Ronnie Reagan] are far more responsible for what has happened in this country and the world than anything Mr. Obama has done in 10 months but he is going to own this crisis because the recovery is going to happen [or not] on his watch. I wish he wasn't such a wimp about getting the insurance reform done and would stand up against don't ask don't tell and the marriage act but all those are subjects for other blogs. I think overall that President Obama has done exceedingly well in a situation of enormous magnitude and depth and I am VERY happy he is my President. Which brings me back to the subject of this blog-happiness or the lack thereof.

So things suck but somehow just knowing that it's not only me...doesn't help one damn bit, really. It seems somehow immoral to take solace or have my pain assuaged because of other people's hardships. In fact I feel worse because others are suffering and a good many of them worse than me. It's dep...disheartening. So what do you do? What makes you set the alarm at night? For me it's my Dad, dead for over 25 years but somehow still with a grip on the back of my neck and a blue eyed stare that could cook a potato in five minutes. He passed on a lot of advice to me in the 19 years I knew him but the one that sticks with me is...and I'm paraphrasing now...

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"Life is hard and most of the time things are not going to go as you'd like them to go. Well, too bad, nobody is ever promised an easy road and there's no use bitching about it because nobody cares about your sad story, they've got their own. " He was from the tough love school of parenting of that generation. "You want a successful life? Take the bad things that happen without... drama" he looked for a word he thought I'd understand. "Don't let the bastards know they've hurt you. Then when you get up you'll be stronger...."And you can kick their ass right Dad?!! "No, then you can ignore it because bad shit really only goes away when it doesn't matter any more." It was kind of a mix of; 'never let them see you sweat' and 'the best revenge is a life well lived.'

But how can I have a life well lived when I am terrified I'm going to have to live in a refrigerator box? And how the hell am I not supposed to let that affect me, not have any drama? I'm an actor I need direction, how do I get through the damn day?!Then I go back to " bad shit really only goes away when it doesn't matter any more." Ultimately, what's the only thing that really matters?... Life right? Being alive; it's hard to do anything if you don't have that going for ya. I mean in comparison nothing really matters outside of that, so at this moment I'm alive and that's good. Ok cool, got through a moment. What else matters? My family; they are all safe, nothing else is truly significant outside of being alive with my family. So, right now, I am alive, I am loved and I am not in a refrigerator box, this is a good moment. And in this good moment the bad shit is gone because I have all that matters. And this moment is really the only one we have right? Can't change a past moment or alter a future one, they're gone or haven't happened, this moment is the only guarantee; so by logical progression the ONLY thing that really matters is this moment- And that is how I get through the day, one moment at a time, by concentrating on right now, embracing this instant-and that produces joy right now, because now is all we have for sure. So moment by moment the day passes, and little by little the moments get strung together making a good minute, a good hour, a good day and before you know it it's time to set the alarm again. It's hard to do that, I have to think about it, force myself do it and I'm not always successful but like Dad said nobody is ever promised an easy road.

As actors we find our greatest success in the truth, living in this moment, well art imitates life and I am determined to have a successful life even if I have to get there one , this moment, at a time.